Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
