please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
zippers are such a cool invention
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
