Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
