I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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