i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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