I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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