Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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