He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
