My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
areolas are like halos for boobs.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
