"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
