Sry I called you an 8
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
