I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
