I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
