My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
