I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
