Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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