remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize