What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
