You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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