she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
