you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hippo gnu deer
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
