i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize