You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
