I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Welp...herpes.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
