I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
