He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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