i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
