i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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