my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
