He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
