I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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