omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
