Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
