just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
