the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
