Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize