I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
