week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
