One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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