just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
