I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
