pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
