nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
