Your mouth is God's brothel.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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