I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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