you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
