Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
