yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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