Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
