Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
