I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
