Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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