I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My friends, they love my intelligence
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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