Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
