There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
