What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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