Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
