First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
