And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
