so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
