Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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