I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
