I think i peed on brittanys purse
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
