Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
